I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
