I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
