Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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