i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize