Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
