Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
