we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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