How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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