it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
