Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
