I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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