I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
