Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
