It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
