it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i think my mom watched the whole time
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can't turn off my feet"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
