Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
