I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize