That's intense
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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