margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
