Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
