your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
