he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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