You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
