Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
