What a fucking waste of an outfit
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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