I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
this boner is exhausting
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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