I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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