im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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