Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
