You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
