Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
