OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize