i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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