i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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