I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you win again, gameday.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize