At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
