Cold hands, warm shart.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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