Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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