hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
