i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Four minutes until I can fart!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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