So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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