Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize