I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
