Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my shit smells like andre
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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