Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
