There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize