My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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