Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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