She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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