The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
