discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize