So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
