i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
