What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
