I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
