We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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