areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
