The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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