I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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