I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
