Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
