Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
