Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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