Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
