as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
